Of a Wizard, a Dragon, and a Thief
by The Most Royal Shiz
Summary: [HIATUS] [YGOxHP Crossover] Voldermort has some new plans, but he also gets some new problems when a certain CEO and Tomb Robber end up in Hogwarts... [SetoxHermione] [Rating For Saftey]
1. An Owl In My Window?

**SOS: Whoo. I've jumped on the bandwagon of YuuGiOuHP crossovers, so here's another multi-chaptered fic that's gonna take me forever to finish. .:sweatdrop:.**

_Warnings_** - Seto's language and some odd word phrasings, just 'cause I'm weird like that.**

_Disclaimer_** - I own neither YuuGiOu or Harry Potter. Yeah, yeah, I want it too, but then there would be a lot of nudity in YuuGiOu and Draco Malfoy would be the center focus.**

**Notes - **_Yami Bakura -Bakura _

_Bakura Ryo - Ryo _

_Bakura to Ryo: ((...)) _

_Ryo to Bakura: (...)_

* * *

"...I ssshall be powerful oncccce again, Wormtail."

"Y-yes, master, of cour-course you will!"

Darkness was covering the room as if it was a tangible thing, and was almost subduing the crackling fire that sat in the front. One large chair was positioned in the center of the room, turned towards the fireplace with it's back to the only entrance, while the rest of the room was deviod of any type of furniture. The carpeting of the room was a foul green color, revealing what little had been done to protect the old and still aging home. A thin, slender shadow of its own being slithered across the ground, wrapping around the outer rims of the room.

"But I need ssssomething... different. Ssssomething that no one will expect."

The one known as Wormtail nodded ferociously, standing behind his master's chair. Fear was evident in the man's eyes, but he hardly was going to quit. Quitting now; dear Lord, he would hardly dare to ponder the idea, with the Dark Lord's powers of Legilimency, his feelings of cowardice and thoughts of desertation would be wide open. He was going to respond, but the Dark Lord chose to speak first.

"I need you to sssend a few of our Arabic sssspeaking Deatheatersss, Wormtail. I've got a sssspecccial job for them." The man formerly known as Peter Pettigrew nodded eagerly, and made his way towards the exit. "And pleassse remember to feed Nagini tonight..."

"Y-yes, master. Of course I wi-will."

* * *

This was not a good situation for the sixteen-year-old CEO. He was completely vulnerable to an attack by the predator, and he might be in even deeper trouble should he attempt to move. His bindings were too strong, and his position would be revealed in the room. He was...

...in his bed, at seven thirty six on a Saturday morning, tangled up in his blankets. Mokuba was currently lurking by the door of his room, and Seto was currently trying his best to allow his younger brother his fun, and was pretending to be asleep. Any moment, the young Kaiba would pounce on his niisama, prepared to engage in a large tickle war, and then pull him downstairs for breakfast and cartoons (In no particular order).

Indeed, Kaiba Mokuba proceeded with his attack upoun Seto. "Niisama!" he squealed happily, sitting onto of his brother's waist. Pretending to be sleepy, Seto raised a brow and looked at him.

"What is it, Mokuba...?"

"It's Saturday, niisama! You and me are supposed to watch cartoons, and you said that if you weren't awake by now I could do whatever I wanted to wake you up!" Giving Mokuba a very bad imitation of the puppy dog eyes, Seto frowned.

"Well, I'm up now, so you don't have to do anything else, now do you?"

Pause.

"I don't have to, but it'll help!" The black-haired boy grinned happily, and went on in tickling. Seto laugh loudly, allowing him to have his fun. How much longer, however, remained to be unseen. (Contrary to what he may say, Kaiba Seto is a _very_ ticklish person. )

"Oh, Mokuba, stop!" she cried out, and the boy stopped instantly, grinning. Seto sat up and the blanket fell from a shoulder to around his waist, and ruffled his black hair. "See? I'm awake now." He chuckled good-naturedly when Mokuba gave him one quick last poke at his sides, and decided to return the favor.

Down the hallway, Roland could only begin to even guess what was going on in Master Kaiba's bedroom. He decided he would be better off not knowing.

An hour and two doughnuts later, both Kaiba's were positioned in the living room. Mokuba was sitting in the front, violet eyes looking as if they were permanently glued to the television. Seto twitched when he glanced up at the screen, watching his younger brother watch an American cartoon called Bugs Bunny. While Mokuba might have been able to fully ignore the events of the past at this time, the picture of the rabbit only reminded the brunette of one thing, and that one thing happened to wear suits that looked pink and decorate his castle to look like a woman was reigning.

"How can you watch this mindless drabble? Watch... I don't know. That Kenshin show or something."

"But I thought you said I couldn't watch it 'cause it'd give me violent ideas."

"...Well, I've decided you're mature enough. And I'm rather sick of that rabbit." Less than half a second later, the television was now sitting on Tokyo Television, and Mokuba was paying more attention than he was to Bugs Bunny. With a nod of approval, Seto turned his attention away from the big-screen and glanced downwards at various papers spread across the table. Lists of numbers, memos, and various employee complaints were only a few of them, and God be damned if he didn't look at all of it in his over-sized pajamas.

"He's fired... She's fired... Ooh, suck-up. ... Fired. Promoted. Better get his ass to work tommorrow, or fired..."

This went on for about twenty minutes or so, completely undisturbed, save for random bits of cackling that Mokuba remedied by looking at him oddly and suggesting that Seto receive some sort of mental help. After those precious twenty minutes, Roland had finally ventured downstairs after deeming it safe to look upon the Kaiba family.

"Master Kaiba," he greeted, looking towards Seto, "I, ah, have a question." Seto looked at him and rose a brow.

"What is it, Roland?"

"You... Might want to come and see this." Roland looked a little edgy, and fidgeting silently. That is odd, Seto surmised; usually Roland only looked nervous when something in the house was blown up, completely destroyed, or left unnoticed for weeks (Such as the dishes, which had once grown fungus that had required them to vacate the house for a week). And, as far as he knew, there had been no loud noises and he had looked into anything left unnoticed just two days ago.

"...All right. This better be damn important, or your job is at stake - and no, Mokuba, you may not repeat my language, you hear that?" Mokuba nodded solemnly, and returned in time to hear a famous Kenshin 'Oro'.

"Well, what is it you need me to look at before I decide you're better off fired?" he growled, stalking after him. "I was rather enjoying deciding what half of my employees to fire of the weekend." Roland nodded quickly, and led him towards a window. On it sat a large barn owl, possessing on it's leg a scroll that looked as if it was going to cause the poor thing to fall.

"...An owl? You bother me for an _owl_?"

"Well, we took the scroll off for a moment or two and looked through it until the bird pecked at us until we would put it back on. The letter is, uh, rather odd, to say the least." Seto snorted, and snatched the owl and ripped the paper from the bird. The bird squawked loudly and whacked the CEO with its wings, causing him to yell Japanese swear words after it. The bird, content that it had given proper payback, returned to it's post on the window.

"What can be so odd about a letter, anyhow?" he scoffed, looking at it. There was a broken seal on the front, which was a large H surrounded by four different animals. As he unrolled it, several different papers fell out, which Roland caught, and Seto looked at the address on the front.

'Kaiba Seto, CEO Prodigy of Kaiba Corp.  
Domino, Japan 5453-2845

3421 Shinigashi Street

The West Living Room'

"You know it's illegal to look at other people's mail? Especially when it's so clearly labeled." Dismissing the idea with another mumbling, he looked at the reverse side, which had a small letter written on it.

* * *

'Greetings Mister Bakura Ryo,

We would like to congratulate you for outstanding abilities of the magical sort. It has been noticed, as of late, that you have been magically active, whether intentionally or otherwise, and would like to invite you to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. While this is as unexpected to us as it is to you, we would appreciate it greatly if you would consider coming to study the magical arts with us in England. Enclosed with this is a list of times that a train will be leaving King's Crossing in London. If you so desire, you may pick one of those times and send which train you'll be taking to Hogwarts if you would like to arrange a meeting with the headmaster Albus Dumbledore. Please give these to the owl that brought this message to you.

Signed,  
Head of Gryffindor House Minerva McGonagall'

A one Ryo blinked at the letter in his hands, glancing through the other sheets of paper. Yes, it proved true; there was several different papers, and one of them did have the train times for a train that came to some station labeled '9 3/4.'

(...what do you think?)

The Tomb Robber had a doubtful reply. ((It makes little sense. Why on Earth don't we already know about this school in the first place? I've been doing magic for years.))

(Maybe an age limit, or something? I don't know.) Ryo frowned. This was not boding well; the white-haired teenager really wanted to go to this school. Magic would be such a nifty thing to possess, and if he really was capable of doing it, then it opened so many new opportunites that he would have never thought possible. As if Bakura had read his thought (Which Ryo reminded himself, he probably did), he made his a response:

((I suppose there's no harm in checking it out. It -would- be something I would have over the Pharaoh.)) Ryo nodded, but didn't bother answering through the mental link. Bakura would understand his emotions at the moment just fine, and with a grin and a pen, he starting jotting down onto a piece of notebook paper.

* * *

**SOS: Wow. I wrote all that? X.x Well... yeah. Review and make meh day, and lemme know whether or not there's going to be a real point to finishing this. Heh.**


	2. Yes, Professor, I Dislike You

**SOS: Whoo. So we've made it to chapter two. Dunno why I wrote this as soon as I did; kinda odd for me to x.O Oh well. Read and enjoy!**

_Warnings_** - Ramblings.**

_Disclaimer_** - If I owned YuuGiOu and/or Harry Potter, Seto Kaiba would have long been the main character. .:shifty look:. In either.**

* * *

"Wormtail. Tend to the fire, pleassssse."

"Yes, master!"

The small, portly man scurried towards the fireplace, hardly daring to look upon the face of the Dark Lord. Silence met the room as he hit the logs with the black poker, fiery sparks illuminating the room. The room was the same; empty of furniture save for one chair pointed towards the fireplace, dark and forbidding. Wormtail finished his task and backed up silently, returning to his position behind the Dark Lord's chair. He refused to voice his concern about the task at hand; following his master's lead was his only choice, and defying him would be the same as asking for death itself.

"Wormtail."

"Yes, mas-master?"

"What isss the progresss? Have they found anything about thosssse itemsss?"

"Uh, yes. The-there's a museum in Egypt, a-and it's run by an Ishtal family. Unfor-fortunately, an artifact in question has been mov-moved, and we can't find their loc-location. We're wor-working on it. Some muggle's cla-claiming they've moved to a Japanese ci-city, but some of your followers are doubt-doubtful," Wormtail stammered out.

"And why isss that?"

"The mugg-muggle was hardly in the right frame of mind., and ev-even with the Ver-veritaserum **(1)**,he could onl-only tell us what he believed true him-himself." A thoughtfull silence ensued after this explination.

"Well," finally spoke the Dark Lord, "Look into it. Find any mussseumsss on Egypt in Japan thisss insssstant."

* * *

"I hate flying, I hate flying, I hate flying..."

Three forty-two in the afternoon in a plane only ten minutes away from London, and there was a large berth given to a white-haired boy. Most of those who were avoiding him were also giving him awkward looks, watching him mumble something in Japanese and cling pathetically to the arms of his seat. They weren't concerned with what he was saying; they were concerned about whether or not he was going to throw up.

Twenty minutes later, said white-haired boy was glancing nervously around a crowded London airport. Ryo frowned as he clung to a suitcase's handle, the wheels sitting on the tiled floor. ((So, where is this 'escort'?))

(I'm not sure. The letter said he wouldn't be difficult to miss...)

Ah, yes, the letter. A week before, Bakura Ryo had sent the owl off with a letter declaring that he would be positively delighted to attend this school of magic, and would also like to arrange a meeting as to have a better grip on the situation. No more than two days later (with a different owl who seemed to have a worse demeanor than the one before. The Spirit of the Ring casually mentioned that he acted like Jonouchi after getting some sort of snide remark from Kaiba) another letter had returned.

'To Mister Bakura Ryo,

We thank you for your interest in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. On the date that you selected to take the Hogwarts Express to our school, we will have an escort at the airport prepared to meet you and clarify things along the way. He goes by the name of Rubeus Hargrid, and is very difficult to miss. He will also be escorting another new student.

Signed, Head of Gryffindor House

Minerva McGonagall'

So, where was this mysterious Hagrid and his other young charge? Ryo frowned unhappily, and found himself slightly upset. What if this was just a clever trick to get him to completely waste his time? If it was, whoever had done it had thoroughly succeeded in doing so. ((Stop thinking like that, silly host. That letter was stinking with magic.))

(How can you tell?)

((Only someone very attuned to magic can. You're obviously too pathetic to even tell to tell. Don't worry about it.)) Ryo mentally twitched.

(I love you too, Tomb Robber.) he replied sarcastically.

((Oh, you know you can't resist me.)) The host's mind went through at least ten kajillion ideas before he got to respond to his darker sides comment, questioning on whether or not he was being sarcastic.

"'ey, are you..." Pause. "Rie-ooo?"

Ryo jerked his head up and blinked. Above him was a man that would have definitely passed for Goliath. His hair was dark in color and very dirty, but appeared as if he made some attempt to tame it. His clothes looked like they were hand made (And not badly, at that) from sort of animals sink, and he white-haired boy found to his discomfort that had could easily stick his entire arm into the giant's pocket.

"Uhm, call me Bakura," he requested. The taller man nodded, and grinned.

"Well, I'm glad I found one o' you! Name's Hagrid, Hogwart's gamekeeper! I was ta take you on the train on down ta Hogwarts!" Ryo nodded numbly as Hagrid started to pull him forward, holding incredibly too tightly onto his wrist. "Now, we've gotta find that other one... I was told we'll be meetin' 'im at Kings Cross, but I was hopin' to beat him there. Ah, oh well. Now, tell me about yerself, Bakura!" The man accidently pronounced the 'kura' like 'koo-rah,' but he decided not to bother.

"Where would you like me to start?"

"Anywhere, I guess. What school you used ta go to?"

"Domino High. Second year."

"How old are you?"

"Sixteen. My birthday'll be in two weeks." **(2) **This question and answer game lasted for a very long amount of time, sustaining Hagrid's interest until they were well on their way on a taxi to Kings Cross. By then, Hagrid had discovered Ryo's favorite color, animal, cartoon, work, and at least a million other things whose questions had bored the hell out of him.

((I'm glad he finally shut up. Twenty million questions was graining on my nerves, and I was close to banishing him to the Shadow Realm.))

(You can't do that! He's the only way we're going to find out anything!)

((...Well, he's still here, isn't he?))

(For some reason, I'm having the feeling I should have left you with Yuugi in Domino...)

* * *

"That man is _late_."

Kaiba Seto glared unhappily at a clock in the Kings Cross station, arms crossed on his chest. He was dressed casually; he had no intentions of catching the attention of a bunch of English females. His fan club was enough to boost his ego; he hardly needed to be glomped to reinforced the fact in his skull.

"Hargid! Please wait up! I can't run much faster than this!"

"Oh, I'm sorry! Are you alright, Bakoorah?"

With an undignified blink, the brown-haired CEO looked up at the yelling of a familiar Japanese boy. He stared blankly at what he saw. A tall man that appeared to be a giant was pulling along a one Bakura Ryo, who looked as if he was trying his best not to get upset with the man. The one called Hagrid slowed his pace, allowing Ryo to finally fall into a speed that was comfortable. Seto raised a brow and watched, and let out a snort of amusement.

"Well, what do we have here? Who's your friend, _'Bakoorah'_?" he greeted with a smirk, intentionally pronouncing his name the same way as the giant. Ryo's mouth dropped open in surprise at seeing the young CEO, and ignored his question.

"Kaiba-sama! What are you doing here?"

"This is that Kaiba, huh?" Hagrid remarked, looking him up and down. "Well, I'm glad we found ya so quickly! I'm Hagrid, your escort today."

"This large oaf is supposed to be our escort into an unknown world of magical happenings that sounds like a story a magician on crack made up?" Seto remarked, cocking a brow. "For some reason, it feels like I should still be in Domino."

"Now, now," Hagrid snapped, revealing an annoyed quality that surprised Ryo, "You had better learn to respect Hogwarts' staff, or you'll find yerself on a train right back home." The brunette snorted in response.

"Then I suppose I'll take my chances. Now, how about you prove something about this insane story and direct us to platform 9 3/4. I've asked about every worker in this place, and I've gotten at least ten remarked about today's youth behind my back." The taller one stood a little straighter, as if he was going to do something about the younger one's attitude.

"All righ', then. You see this gate between nine and ten?" They both nodded. "Do exactly as I do." With that said, Hagrid stomped directly towards the pillar that separated the gates.

And passed right through it.

For a moment, all the two sixteen-year-old boys could do was stare at the pillar, as if expecting someone to jump out from behind them and say 'Gotcha'. When this did not occur, Ryo looked at Seto expectantly instead.

"Uh... How about yo-you go first?"

"Why don't _you_?"

((Sissy little host!)) scolded Bakura. ((If you don't have the nerves to walk through that thing, then I suppose that I'll just have to do it.))

Content after taking over their shared body, the Tomb Robber glanced at Seto. Without much more than a grunted reply that could be assumed to be conformity, he stomped off through the pillar.

"...I can't believe I'm doing this." Seto looked around quickly to make sure no one was watching, and with a defeated sigh, followed after Bakura.

* * *

_(1) _**A potion that makes whoever drinks it speak only the truth.**

_(2) _**Ryo's birthday is September second. Current time-frame is the last two weeks of August, so... yah.**

_SuzukaKinomoto_** - Heh. I'm glad you enjoyed. And, as a side note, Bakura's name can be spelled either Ryou or Ryo. I'm using the spelling in the translate manga, which happens to be 'Ryo.' I'm glad that you cared enough about this fic to mention that, however, and I thankyou's! .:pelts with Ryo plushies:.**

_Kaiathrita_** - Marik/Marikku and Yuugi/Yami Yuugi might have a part in this, but they will NOT be having a major role. Hehe. It's just gonna be our CEO and wonderful Tomb Robber working against the forces of evil! (And maybe a wizard or two. .:coughDracoHarrycouch:.).**

**Thanks for reading this, and please review soon!**


	3. A Weasley In A Hole

**SOS: Well, here we are. .:pokes fic:. I really should have been doing my school project when I wrote this. Oh well. I'll just be up all night doing it and fall asleep in church. This is a lot more interesting than a project, anywho. .:grins:. **

_Disclaimer_ **- Yup. I do own YuuGiOu and Harry Potter, and I'm also likely to dance on my head and learn to speak monkey. For any of you oddballs out there, it means they're not mine. **

_Note _**- I forgot to mention the timeframe for this. .:spazzes:. Takes place after the Battle City arc (No Oricalchos), and this is Harry's fifth year. **

* * *

"Mr. Weasley?" No answer. "Mr. Weasley? Are you alright down there?" 

Harry Potter was hunched over in an awkward position, rear-end sticking into the air. His head was dipped into a hole that wasn't large enough to allow him to crawl through (and he was currently wondering how on Earth Mister Weasley had managed to), and his clothes were caked with mud. His green eyes looked down the darkness of the hole, and he felt his glasses sliding down his nose. Pulling his head out of the hole with determination, he pushed onto the grass of the Wesaleys' lawn and fell backwards onto the rear-end that had been once sticking up for the world to see.

"Not to worry, Harry!" a familiar voice called from underneath the ground as Harry pushed up his glasses. "I'll be up in just a moment!"

Harry sighed, sitting patiently on the ground. He had gone to the Burrow as to enjoy the last few weeks of his summer vacation, and was wondering vaguely whether or not he would have preferred to stay at the Leaky Cauldron. Sure, he loved staying with the magical family, but this summer had been slightly... unusual, even by his standards. While Harry got to practice playing Quidditch with Ron and his brothers and it was a new adventure every day, he found himself confused every other moment. The ghoul in that attic was getting much louder and had often thrown random pipes at him, Mr. Weasley had hidden himself in this secret hole in the ground and was often commenting on his children's summer homework (Which was something that was normally left to Mrs. Weasley to do, unless she had made him do it. As far as Harry knew, this was not the case), and Ginny seemed hell-bent on the idea that looking the Boy Who Lived straight in the eyes would kill her.

"Thanks for waiting for me, Harry, and fending off all of those gnomes," Mr. Weasley called upwards. A moment later, the hole in the ground expanded, and Harry watched blankly as the wizard walked up a staircase that he could have sworn didn't exist when he stuck his head in.

"No problem, Mr. Weasley. Um, what exactly were you doing down there, anyways...?"

"It's a secret, Harry!" He grinned at him. "Now, you better get cleaned up soon! Molly is going to take you, Ginny, and the boys down to Diagon Alley to get your school things soon!"

* * *

"You mean to tell me I can't use my laptop here?" 

"Yep. Magic and technology just don't mix."

"Looks like the mighty CEO's going to have to go back to pencil, paper, and the mail service, huh?"

Bakura looked around the compartment after throwing in his two cents to the conversation, and examined the seats. _These are nice... _Before he could even as much consider a decent plan to steal the seats from the Hogwarts Express, his host decided that his own two cents would be required towards the dead spirit.

(Don't you dare, Tomb Robber!) he scolded, and Bakura was reminded of a woman snapping at her child for a bad report care grade. With an annoyed look that neither of the other two occupants of the compartment noticed, he crossed his arms across his chest and glared out the window at the English countryside.

"To think that you people claim to have means that could -possibly- assist me, and you can't even use a basic cell phone." Kaiba Seto snorted.

"You can start makin' claims like that when you understand what's going on 'ere, got that, Kaiba?" Hagrid snapped. This particular charge was rubbing him the wrong way, and the half-giant couldn't wait until they were at the school and he was out of his hair.

"Well, as nice as your comments are, I think I'll preoccupy myself with something worthwhile." Seto stood himself up and walked out of the compartment, leaving Hagrid and the King of Thieves alone. Together. For some reason, Ryo didn't think it was a good sign that Bakura wasn't going to give up control of their body, either.

"So, Hagrid," Bakura began, redirecting his attention away from the window, "What exactly would I be able to do when I learn your magic?"

"Oh, lots 'o things." Glad to have a conversation where he could show off some knowledge and not have to concern himself with a bratty teenage CEO that had been the world's hottest man several times in a row in teen magazine, Hagrid launched into the listing of several spells. "You can unlock any door, turn animals into somethin' else, hex yer enemies into bein' tickled for hours at a time, and..." He went on and on, and Bakura listened carefully. It looked like he was going to soon have new means of thievery.

Ten minutes later in the Hogwarts Expess hallway, Seto was walking up and down in a meaningless pace that could last two hours should he not stop until the train ride was over. As tedious as it was, it was opening him up to the possibilities of this world. His letter had been much more detailed in why he should even show up for a meeting with this Albus Dumbledore, and also described some things that would surely assist with running his company. However, a few problems remained.

One of these problems was the why. Why had they just been invited to this school, when from what he could divine, that all students began at age eleven? Another was, why in England? Surely there was a school in Japan that would be much closer and thusly easier to attend, so why did they have to go to another continent to learn this magic? He sighed, running a hand through his brown locks.

This was going to be the beginning of a very _bad_ headache.

* * *

"Well, we're almost there." 

A glare was focused in Hagrid's general direction. "Is there some sort of ride between here and there?"

"Nope. We're walkin'."

"You're kidding me."

"Well, it can't be that bad, Kaiba-sama." The glare was redirected at Bakura Ryo.

"That has to be AT LEAST THREE MILES!" he snapped at the white-haired boy, who quickly cringed back in fear of the CEO. The brunette was pointing in the direction of a large castle sitting besides a huge lake, and, unfortunately, Ryo had to agree. It was going to be a very long walking distance for the three to trek, and also had to agree that it was rather rude to expect guests to do so.

"Well, there's nothing wrong with a little exercise and fresh air, now is there?" he suggested, chuckling nervously. The taller boy backed away from him, and sent a death glare at the oldest one present. Seto mulled over his choices for a moment, and seemed to have come to a conclusion when he started talking again.

"Well, oaf? Are you going to lead us to this castle or not?"

Lots of walking and a disgruntled CEO later, they finally succeeded in arriving at the castle. Hagrid led them through various corridors, and pointed out the classrooms of teachers along the way. As far as he could tell, Ryo was the only one paying any attention.

"This is the way to the Headmaster's office, ya see, 'cause he told me to take you two straight to 'im. After that I think we're going on down to Diagon Alley to get yer stuff for the school year, and meet with some other magic folk..." He went on, but Ryo found himself more interested in speaking with his other. He didn't want to be rude, but the half-giant seemed to have the tendency to ramble on about things that had no relevance.

((This oaf, as Kaiba likes to call him, very well might be lying soulless if he goes on like this,)) griped Bakura.

(We STILL can't do that, Tomb Robber! I'd get kicked out before the school year even -started-!)

((Hmph.))

(You promise you're not going to steal any souls this year?)

(Answer me!)

((Pay attention, host. You're at the office you've been looking for.))

"Now, Kaiba, Bakoorah, this is Headmaster Dumbldore"

**

* * *

**

_Seto's Girl 2004 _**- Buhaha! Well, here you go! Don't always expect chapters this soon, though x.X This is actually a record for me to have updated this so soon. **

_DarkLegacies_** -I can't traumatize them? .:shifty look:. Well... I'll try not to hurt them _too _much when we finally get to Diagon Alley... (.:coughfangirlscough:.) .:grin:. **

_Just A Penniless Writer _**- Oh, you'll love it I haven't got anything between that and now planned, but it's gonna be gosh durn funny. **

**SOS: Like it, hate it? Review and tell me:)**


	4. And To Think I Thought You Were Nutty!

**SOS: Wh00t! I'm ALIVE! XDD Yes, I know I made you wait almost a whole month. Sorry. X.x But here it is, and I hope you put down your pitchforks soon. .:grins sheepishly:.**

**And for anyone waiting for **_Anzu in Wonderland_**, sorry. I'll post something... soon. Before the month's over, anyhow. -.-u**

_Disclaimer _**- For the lack of a witty way to say this, no, I do not own YuuGiOu!. Sorry.**

_Warnings _**- OCCness and a poor, fangirl-ized Hermione. Yes, you may hate me.**

**...Maybe I should lower the rating on this... O.o

* * *

**

"Please tell me you're joking." 

"I'm afraid he's not, Mr. Kaiba. I am, indeed, your Headmaster." Grin.

Ryo looked at the older man, astonished. Sure, when he had heard about the Wizarding School, the first thing he had thought of was like some sort of character out of a Lord of the Ring; some old, wise-looking man. Of course, Bakura had quickly snapped that notion out of his head. He had said it wasn't likely an older man would be running as _wizarding_ school. It would need to be someone young, someone capable of handling mishaps that were sure to happen everyday. So then he had been expecting someone young.

Why didn't he ever just stick with his first instinct?

"Please, come in," bid the man, grinning happily at the young pair. He was wearing robes of purple that made the Tomb Robber envious; in his days, that had been a rare color to come by, and made the robes he had proudly stolen look... well... Stolen. And not as good. And, even now, his mind was whirling with the possibilities and ways to steal such a wonder (Needless to say, Ryo wasn't listening, or would have otherwise reprimanded his alter-ego).

Ryo and Seto walked in, Hagrid left standing at the door. He appeared unsure where to go, and looked around the room silently, as if finding his position very desirable. Unfortunately, the half-giant was not going to stay as he might have wanted, as Dumbledore announced, "Your presence will not be required, Hagrid."

"Ah, yes, Headmaster sir," he nodded polietly in return, and turned around to leave.

"Would you please send... oh... Snape here, however, in about thirty minutes? And please tell him that he will be escorting these two young men around Diagon Alley." Hagrid gave him an undignified look of surprised, but nodded.

"O' course." And with that (And with the approval of one CEO), he left the three by themselves.

"I'm so glad you two could make it," announced Dumbledore, smiling at the two. "Now, please take a seat in front of my desk. I'm sure you've got plenty of questions you'd like to ask." Seto snorted. He wasn't asked to elaborate upon what he found so amusing.

They both sat themselves down in comfy, over-stuffed chairs in front of a large wooden desk, and the white-haired boy couldn't help but stare around in wonder at all of the magical things in the room. They were tons of pictures lining the walls, and they moved! Many of them talked amongst themselves, and visited each other through the picture frames, and others were looking intently upon the current meetings. There were bowls and bowls of mysterious looking mixtures, along with thingamabobs that whirled and twirled with a mind of their own. In a far-off corner was an empty cage that housed a few red feathers that sat all by their lonesome.

Seto, as well, was thoroughly interested in the ideas. He wasn't willing to show his amazement at the magical items, however, and was content with just staring at the items on the wizard's desk. They were amusing enough, as it was, and it would at least make him -appear- to be waiting for the Headmaster to make the first move.

Business tactic number one: Allow your opponent to move first. Determine weaknesses, and then hit them where it hurts.

Okay, maybe not to the letter, but he supposed it still applied. Maybe.

"I am Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts Witchcraft and Wizardry," he announced to gather their attention. "I have invited both of you to this school, due to the sudden appearance of some very -powerful- magic within the two of you." Seto snorted again, and Dumbledore looked at him curiously. "Is something wrong?"

"Oh, nothing. You just reminded me of a certain short, star-head shaped Pharaoh." Dumbledore was lost for a response to such a remark (The man certainly didn't know whether or not this was a compliment, obviously), so decided to go on with his introduction.

"Just as well. Here, you can learn very powerful magicks for your benefit and for that of others, and you will not be rejected simply because you are late starters. Now, I am open to any and all questions you may possess, and will answer to the best of my ability."

"Why England?" Seto asked flatly, looking at Dumbledore seriously. "Assuming that there's more wizards and witches, wouldn't there be a school in Japan that would be much _easier_ to attend?"

"Indeed, there is a very nice school in Japan. The Imperial Dynasty School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, I believe it is called. However, they are not used to students that start just quite as late as you have. Due to circumstances, they are not able to catch you two up on lessons quickly enough to keep you with students near your own age."

"Does this happen normally?"

"Does what happen normally, Mr. Kaiba?"

"Late starters." He stated it as if the question should be obvious.

"Occasionally." He shrugged. "It's not like it happens every year, or something, but it isn't as if the odds are ten million to one it would ever happen."

Silence.

"Is that really all?"

More silence.

"Huh. I suppose so."

Ten minutes later, a one Kaiba Seto and Bakura Ryo were following a Severus Snape out of the Headmaster's office.

"Professor?"

"Yes, Hagrid?"

"Why Professor Snape?"

"I thought it would be amusing."

Hagrid accepted the answer with a chuckle.

* * *

"So, Harry, who do you suppose is going to be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher?" 

"Dunno, Ron. Whoever it is, they'll have to have a lot of guts to even try."

Harry and Ron strolled side-by-side through the busy streets of Diagon Alley, talking excitedly about current Wizarding events, Quidditch, and other such things. Harry was lugging along plenty of books; it appeared as if Snape decided there would be more book-work than ever, the new DADA thought that preparation was more important than Hermoine would have, and Trelawney was amused by the idea of teaching them something to do with tea leaves and animal droppings.

"HARRY!" cried a familiar voice from behind them. Suddenly, Harry and Ron were faced with the all-might attack of a hug from a happy, fifteen year old Gryffindor.

"I'm so glad to see you two! I was wondering if I would have to wait until school to see you," declared Hermoine, releasing her two male friends. She clasped her hands together, having dropped her own books to the ground (which were currently residing in a large, brown burlap bag). "When did you get here?"

"Mrs. Weasley just Floo'ed **(1) **us here this morning. You?"

"My parents and I spent the night at the Leaky Cauldron last night. Oh, Ron, Harry, I've been everywhere this summer! I even visited America! It was absolutely brilliant! I'll have to tell you two all about it!" she suddenly announced, grinning ear to ear.

"No wonder Errol couldn't find you," Ron mused quietly, frowning.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I meant to tell you, but it was such a rushed decision. My father won quite a bit of money - I'm not sure how, though. Denists don't typically gamble, but, ah well - And we left quite all of the sudden."

"Ah, don't worry about it. You'll just have to make up by buying us lunch." Though meant in jest, Hermoine took it seriously. She was fully intending on doing so. Harry and Ron decided not to argue with the matter.

"By the way, have you two heard about some new students this year?" Ron suddenly spoke up, looking at he other two.

"The first years?"

"No, no! We're supposed to be getting some exchange students! At least that's what Fred and George say. I hope it's true; that'd be brilliant."

"That would be nice. I wonder where they're from; maybe somewhere foreign, like Asia!" Hermoine squeaked. Harry shrugged.

"We'll just have to wait and find out, I guess."

The wait, however, lasted about two point seven seconds.

Down the street in Diagon Alley, and one brown-haired CEO was glaring up at their 'escort's back. What kind of escort leaves his two charges, standing in the middle of a foreign area with an amount of money that looked like something they would have used centuries ago? He snorted, crossed his arms across his chest, and glanced around.

"Well, I'm going to get my things," he announced flatly, and stalked off in the direction of Harry and company. Ryo nodded, and wondered whether or not he should tag along. Less than a second later, he started walking after the taller boy.

"Maybe they'll have a special ceremony for them, or something, rather than make them stay together with the first - HARRY!"

"What is it, Hermoine?" The two boys blinked at the girl's sudden outburst, as she stared forward at a certain on-coming figure.

"It's SETO KAIBA!"

And thus started one of those days where Kaiba Seto wished he wasn't famous.

* * *

_(1)_**Floo Powder - A type of powder that you can use to travel between fireplaces.**

_Thunderstorm101_** - Blah. I know. x.X It's hard to make an original HPYGO cross-over, so I decided humor was a better tactic. .:sweatdrop:. Howver, I'm glad you thought it was good!**

_Glitchhunter _**- YAY! XDD**

_Setoglomper _**- Merph. Seto's just upset about being proven wrong with the whole magic-thing :)**

_DarkLegacies _**- You can smell it? Lucky dog. I wanna be able to smell dysfunction... XDD**

_Just A Penniless Writer _**- Yeah. I had fun writing the Bakura/Ryo st00f, and making Seto whine's just one of those thing I like to do. .:grin:.**

_yllom21_** - Well, wah-la! Hope you liked this chapter, as well!**

_Seto's Girl 2004 _**- .:shifty look:. Uh... Okay, this wasn't very soon -.-u I only update chaptered stories about once a month, or days in a row once a month (Or every weekend, or... Okay, shutting up now X.x) And then theres all those one-shots I write. .:bashes head against keyboard:. Hope this was soon enough for ya!**

**SOS: Well, review and please make my day! And ten imaginary cookies to whoever can correctly guess who the new DADA teacher! (And yes, it IS a character in the books. No OC's.)**


	5. When Witches Attack!

**SOS: .:passes out:. So... many... REVIEWS! X.x .:tosses cookies to her reviewers:. Yay! You makes me happy! **

**By the way, I am currently going to take in suggestions for Bakura Ryo's house. Please, however, do NOT vote for Seto's, for I've already decided that one.**

_Warnings_** - Seto and Ron's language (Not actually that bad), an attack of witches, a chapter of which nothing incredibly important happens, and Ryo insulting the Tomb Robber.**

_Disclaimer - _**...Let's think about this, shall we?**

* * *

"Aw, shit." 

Blink.

"Kaiba. Why did that young girl just scream out your name?"

"Shut up and run."

"Why?"

"Because I said so, and I assume you treasure your physical well-fare." With that said, a one Kaiba Seto was off like a bullet in an extremely undignified manner, with Ryo at his heels.

Harry Potter had always thought that no witch or wizard was really up to date with the muggle world. He, too, was familiar with the name and the person it belonged to; this was because Dudley possessed many of that games made by the brilliant man, and Harry often got access to many of the older games (assuming his fat cousin hadn't yet broken it to pieces out of frustration). Frankly, the wizard thought the CEO was a genius. Never a wizard. And never to ever be seen, running from a crowd of teenaged females (and some older females, at that).

"Mister Kaiba!" suddenly squeaked out Hermione, forcing her things upon Harry and Ron. "You two wait here! I absolutely MUST meet him! He is one of the most brilliant muggles there ever was, and now, it appears he's a wizard, too!" Ron could hardly blink in confusion before Hermione had dashed off.

"...You know, my dad mentioned something about him once."

"Yeah?"

"Uh-huh." Pause. "You know, we should probably try to help the poor bloke and his friend. Getting chased by witches and all, you know. They can get a bit nasty if he keeps running, especially if 'Mione looks up to him. Another Lockhart, 'cept this guy doesn't like the attention.

"Yeah, probably. How do you suggest we do that?"

"What we usually do."

"Make it up as we go?"

"Uh-huh."

Meanwhile, Kaiba Seto was in a bit of a... predicament. From what he had figured out, the wizarding world was, typically, very ignorant of the realm of muggles. So why was there a bunch of rabid witches chasing him down a street in Diagon Alley? Damn those fanarts. He knew not putting a copyright on his body was going to bite him in the ass on day (It would, certainly, stop people from decorating their walls with posters of him. How on EARTH did the paparazzi ever get close enough to take such pictures of him!).

After a minute or two or running, it was becoming annoyingly evident that Ryo had not been built for athletic activity. And, since it was somewhat his fault that the white-haired boy was also in trouble, it would only be right of him to at least get him out of the situation. But how? He didn't know any of the passageways in Diagon Alley, so a wrong turn and he might end up standing in the middle of an intersection in the muggle world.

Just as he was musing such things, he passed a large, menacing-looking gate. Two young, fifteen year old boys were standing by it, and suddenly starting hissing at the CEO and Ryo. Ryo automatically took the opportunity to run in with them, followed closely by Seto. Why not? At least it would save them from the stupid teenagers.

The now-foursome ducked past the gate, leaving Kaiba and Ryo home free from the witches. Seto glanced at their saviors, and raised a brow.

"Dare I ask why you brought us down here?" he questioned, emphasizing the here in the sentence. This brought them all to a stop in the middle of the alley, and the darker-haired one blinked in confusion.

"What are you talking about?"

"...In case you haven't noticed, but I believe that dark and frightening is not preferable to the bright and cheery atmosphere of Diagon Alley." The other one, a redhead, cocked his head until it finally occurred to him what was going on.

"Ah, damn it."

* * *

"...So, uh, Harry," began Ryo, glancing at his newly made friend, "You really don't know how to get off... Knockturn Alley, you said?" 

Harry nodded glumly, sighing. This was just great. They had accidentally dragged the transfer students that had been chatting on about into Knockturn Alley, one of the least safe areas of the London Wizarding World. What had possessed them to take them through an alleyway that hadn't even checked, huh? Harry had only been down there once, and only found is way out because of Hagrid. And by the way Ryo spoke about him, there was not going to be any last minute saves by the half-giant.

Ron turned his attention upon the taller boy. Seto couldn't be two years older than him; so why exactly did he tower over him so amazingly! However, Ron was not one to get intimidated based on height alone (skills usually came into the matter soon after, though), and attempted to spark a conversation of his own with the brunette.

"What were you doing in Diagon Alley? I heard that you where a muggle."

Seto snorted. "Well, apparently I'm not, or otherwise I'd be in Domino, spending a very nice weekend with my little brother."

However, Ron refused to give up. "You've got a little brother?"

"Yes."

"How old is he?"

Glare. "Go away."

"Not friendly, are you?" No answer. With a disgruntled sigh, he finished the conversation as such: "Man, I can't believe we tried to help you. Harry?" he added.

"Yes, Ron?"

"Do you think we could just ask for directions?"

"..Ron, I really don't think that would be a good idea."

"How come?"

"Have you ever seen a lady walk down this road with -fingernails-? If you did, would you want to ask her how to get out of Knockturn?"

"No and no."

"And there is my point."

* * *

It took the group a good fourteen minutes and ten seconds (Seto was counting down, hoping to wander out very soon, and possibly abandon the other three) to escape Knockturn Alley, and this left them extremely annoyed. Harry and Ron had silently decided the Seto was a shoo-in for Slytherin, Seto thought the pair the stupidest on Earth, second to Jonouchi and Honda, and Ryo was positive that the Tomb Robber was going to kill someone soon. 

"Well, now that we've survived that," said Ron, grateful, "Now what are we going to do? We've lost Hermione, and these two probably need to go catch up with Snape."

"No, I don't think we need to find him," Ryo announced, still sounding a bit uncertain, "We've got rooms at the Leaky Cauldron."

"Well, that fixes one problem." Harry sighed, glancing around. It was getting dark quickly upon Diagon Alley, so there was little left to do. "Glad your family's staying there, too, Ron." Ron nodded in agreement.

"Mum and Dad'll probably still be here, though; they're probably looking all over for us."

"As interesting as your conversation is," Seto sneered, "Shouldn't we go to this excuse for lodgings?"

"Yes," agreed Ryo, nodding eagerly.

Ron and Harry suffered a very boring explanation on why saving foreign exchange students - as good as a cause as it was, of course - without actually knowing how they intended to do so was a bad idea by Mrs. Weasley, and they both gave vague announcements of understanding at the end of it. Hermoine managed to track down the pair, declaring unhappily she hadn't managed to find the CEO.

The two decided it was a good idea not to tell their friend where Kaiba Seto was.

While she had wandered off to her room, having already having eaten her dinner, Ron and Harry were sitting at a table in the main dinning room of the Leaky Cauldron. A Bakura Ryo, who was grinning sheepishly and thanking them for the kajillionth time for the quick getaway, quickly joined them.

"Don't worry about it, bloke; a whole new adventures every-day thing. You don't always get to save two freakishly tall Japanese guys from a witches, ya know?" Ryo blinked.

"I'm not that much taller than you two-"

"I think that was more aimed towards your friend," Harry intervened, cutting Ron off from his own interruption before it could began. "I mean... He's like... seven feet tall.."

"Six foot two (1), thank you very much."

Three heads shot up, and six eyes landed upon the brown-haired CEO. He dropped a plate onto the table, choosing a seat next to Harry.

"Uh, sorry 'bout that. It's just, most people in England don't get as tall as you. It's really a redeeming - "

"Whatever." Suddenly, he quirked a brow. "You said you're Harry Potter, right?"

"Yeah. You're not going to be one of those people fascinated by me, are you?"

Snort. "Hell no. Did you not see what happened today, or do you have a horrible memory?"

"Good point."

Ryo suddenly cut in. "Kaiba! I just had a great idea. Did you bring any of your Duel Disks with you?"

(If you're going to do something stupid-)

((Oh, shut up. If I was going to do something stupid, don't you think I would have already done it?))

(...You've got a good point there, Tomb Robber)

* * *

_(1) _**Should be accurate. I got the information from j a n i m e . n e t (Take out spaces).**

_kenmeishouri _**- And here you go!**

_Glitchhunter_** - Indeed he does. This is why I thank God Takahashi Kazuki created him :)**

_Peter Kim _**- Indeed, there shall be some dueling. That is a GREAT idea, by the way. However, there shall not be any Duel Monster classes, since it would kinda kill the way the story went x.X**

_Thunderstorm101 _**- Oooh... Good idea. :3 I might use that.**

_Kitroku_** - Ta-da!**

_Jasmine Reinier _**- .:grins:. Well, she DID try, now didn't she?**

_cantdueldontaskme_** - Well, think about it: You've been invited to a wizarding school, which is an idea you've never even HEARD of before. As much as you may believe it, wouldn't you want a bit more information before you simply dove head-first into getting ready for the school year? Excellent point, however, and I thank you for pointing that out.**

_DarkLegacies _**- There shall be more Hermione-spazzing to come, I promise. And yes, Harry certainly does!**

_mariko_** - .:blink blink:. I believe I shall not even as much comment upon this one.**

_Setoglomper_** - He may or may not be in Gryffindor. I've already got plans for his house, so you'll just have to wait and see...**

_Seto's Girl 2004 _**- Well, here you go!**


	6. In Which A Duel Sort of Starts

**SOS: Would it help if I said I really DID try to make this longer? I didn't want this chapter be the duel, though, and well... Yeah. You'll understand when you get down reading this. Uhh... Pretty please don't get mad this isn't my usually 1500 words? x.X The orignal one, though, was only 1100, and this pulled off 1200, so be glad. .:bashes head against keyboard:.**

**Current Votes for Ryo's House -**

Gryffindor - None

Ravenclaw - None

Slytherin - 1

Hufflepuff - None

Wherever Seto is - 2

_Disclaimer _**- Would I be posting under fanfiction if I owned this?**

_Warnings _**- Ron's language, Kaiba and Bakura rambling off together a lot, not very good humor, and me attempting to start a duel.**

_Shameless plug _**- Go read The Heir Game. I desire to know whether or not it stinks as bad as I think it does -.-u**

**And thankyou to **_ssp_**, who pointed out British people are taller than I thought. I'll correct that. Eventually.**

* * *

Ryo suddenly cut in. "Kaiba! I just had a great idea. Did you bring any of your Duel Disks with you?" 

Harry looked up, brow raised. Surely, Ron wouldn't have the dimmest idea what was going on, but he at least had a few thoughts squirming around. Ryo was, apparently, challenging the CEO of Kaiba Corp, former Duel Monsters champion, who was only beaten by two different people, to a game of Duel Monsters. Oooh, this was going to be interesting.

"Of course I did." Seto snorted, waving his fork around more out of habit than for any bigger purpose (He needed to work on that. All those hand motions during duels were getting to him). "Does that mean you want to play a little game, then?"

"Why not?" Bakura suggested, grinning. "Our new friends could watch, and we could have a new experience. Me, getting to duel a self-assured CEO. You, getting beaten by someone other than the Pharaoh."

"...is there any particular reason you keep calling Motoh that?"

Bakura gained a misty-eyed expression (albeit feigned), looking like a storyteller about to dive into a great story. He clasped his hands together, and began. "It all started in Egypt, Kaiba, where you were-"

"Forget it. I don't want to know. Do you want to duel or not? I can grab some of the Duel Disks from my room, and we can see if there's somewhere empty enough around here to do it. Potter and the redhead can tag along -"

"My NAME is Ron!"

Seto sneered, but went on as if he hadn't been interrupted. "-Can tag along, and watch a real duelist kick your butt. I can't believe you lost to that shrimp."

"Are forgetting he's beaten you, oh, what, two times? It should have been three, but you claimed you'd commit suicide that one time. Oh, scratch that. It is three. That one time at Jonouchi's party where you played strip Duel Monsters - my God, that was funny."

"I did not play strip Duel Monsters with Motoh, for the love of God- Hey! I thought you said you wanted to duel, Bakura!"

"Oh, yeah. I did." Shrug. "Where and when, Kaiba?"

"Diagon Alley should clear up soon, now that it's getting darker. They'll be plenty of room-"

"Hate to burst your bubble," Ron interrupted again, "but muggle technology doesn't work here. Did no one tell you two that? I don't know how things work in Japan, but-"

"Oh, don't worry, Potter's redheaded little friend," Bakura piped up. "I'll make sure they work. By the way - go get that female friend of yours. She'll love something like this."

(...Are we forgetting that the girl is probably a member of Kaiba's fan club? You know, the three thousand two hundred and twenty three members worldwide fan club?)

((Why on Earth did you think I invited her?))

(I really should have left you with Yuugi)

* * *

"So, let's see. You want to me to TURN OFF the safety, and leave ourselves at the mercy of our opponents? What are you, a complete idiot? You know the second I play my Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon, you're likely to be in a coma, right?" 

"No. Just a man that likes to take a few risks. And who said you'll even win?"

"I don't know. Let's count the people; myself, the little girl over there made herself quite clear, I think Potter said something, and there was that one time Miho **(1) **was stalking me -"

"Okay, Kaiba. I get the point already!"

(You didn't actually think he wasn't going to say something, did you?)

((No, I just didn't think his ego rivaled my own.))

(I was wondering when you were going to admit you had a big ego. Don't forget about your libido, either.)

((Oh, shut up.))

The odd excuse for a band of friends was situated outside in the dark Diagon Alley, hiding out in what appeared to be an abandoned shop not too far down from the Leaky Cauldron. Bakura and Seto and claimed most of the center of the building, while Ron, Hermione, and Harry were standing near the very back, watching eagerly. Scratch that; Hermione was watching eagerly. Ron was trying to look as uninterested as possible, finding himself very annoyed by the CEO. Harry was attempting to remember everything he knew about the card game, hoping dearly he could figure out what was going on. He doubted it would be very interesting otherwise.

"So, what are the stakes? I'm up for anything, Kaiba."

"Eight thousand Life Points, forty-card deck, and the rules according to Battle City. I win, and I get your Necrofear **(2)**.On the impossible chance you win, you can choose whatever you want."

The Tomb Robber raised a brow, amused. "All right. I want your Blue Eyes, then."

"Then let the games begin."

**Bakura - 8000, Kaiba - 8000**

"I'll go first, Kaiba, if you don't mind!" barked Yami no Bakura, drawing his five cards out of the slot of his Duel Disk. He held them out in one hand, glancing at it casually. Perfect; this would be the perfect start to his duel.

"I play one card face down, and play this in defense mode!" he declared, placing them into the proper positions on his Duel Disk. The machine made it's mechanical noises in confirmation, and the cards appeared upon the dueling area dutifully. "Your move!"

Seto grunted a response, probably meant as to say he understood. He collected his own cards into on hand, glancing over it. Well, this was going to be amusing. Was Bakura going to play defensive, and spring the same traps as he did to Motoh during Battle City? Only one way to find out.

"I play Pot of Greed, which allows me to draw two cards-"

"I know what Pot of Greed does, you moron! Have you never noticed I'm the one doing commentary for the Pharaoh's little friends?"

"I was always wondering why you did that... Anyways, I was explaining for the audience. A match is no fun if you don't know what's going on. We can't forget they're too ignorant, now can we?"

"That is a good point. However, I've got something to say. You! The girl with the curly hair, that looks like Hawkins on a bad day."

"Hawkins?" echoed Seto, raising a brow.

"Pharaoh's friend."

"Of course. Remind me why it seems Motoh makes associates with people that probably don't speak Japanese?"

"How am I supposed to know? He's the one that openly admits to being skitzo. Maybe the voice tells him to." Seto snorted.

"Anyways... Girl! You know how to play Duel Monsters, don't you?"

"Well, yes, I sort of..." Hermione squeaked, forgetting that she should be at least mildly upset that her hero and his opponent had little respect for her, and was currently trying to figure out why they were asking her. Ron, however, made a 'pfft'ing noise and glared off to the side.

Stupid brown-haired git. What does Hermione see in him!- Frankly, Ron was paying little attention at all.

"Good. Then we can duel, and you can explain to Potter and your redheaded friend what's going on."

"MY NAME IS RON, DAMN IT!"

"Shut up, redhead," said Seto flatly.

* * *

_Note_**- None of the card name, effects, and attack/defense points of Yami no Bakura are assured. I am having the hardest time finding a complete deck list, so am using what I can figure out from Janime. However, if anyone can find me a complete deck list for any season (Preferably Pharaoh's Memory, since thats the one I'm using from Janime, but if it can't be found, I will revise this chapter), it will be greatly appreciated. If I never get one... Well, we'll see how long the duel even lasts into the next chapter.**

_(1) _**Miho appears in the manga once, and was in the original version of the YuuGiOu anime. Uh... I've heard she's really annoying. I'm still trying to get a hold of one of the fansubs of that. .:sigh:.**

_(2) _**I have no idea how to spell that.**

_Setoglomper _**- He does! It's a sign of the apocolypse! RUUUUUUUUN! XDD**

_DarkLegacies_** - Oh, it's very likely. .:grin:. And, from what we've got in this chapter, it looks like Seto and Yami Bakura are going to be working together a lot, seeing how they talk to ever other... Muahhaa...**

_Jasmine Reinier _**- If not after this duel, sooner or later, I'm sure she'll get her man (.:whistles innoccently, thinking about her plans to get the pair together:.)! And Slytherin? Well, we'll just see! (Need... More... Votes x.X)**

_RBMIfan_** - Thanks:) I try the best I can.**

_ssp_** - ...The British people make me feel really short, then. I don't even make five feet. .:mumbles:. Thanks for pointing that out. I'll change it later to something equally amusing :)**

_Kitroku_** - Buahaa! Well, here you go, my young friend!**


	7. What's With This Necro Crap?

_The Shiz _**- Buahaha! I have finally updated! Now review and love meeeee!**

**Okay, yes. I'm insane. I'm sorry. You'll have to forgive me - I only even wrote this chapter because of **_Her Sweetness_**. She had informed me how lazy she had been when she needed to write the next chapter of **_Motel 37 _**(.:hinthintnudgenudge:. Go read it when you finish this chapter:D), and it inspired me to at least try. So here we are. Me writing probably the /only/ duel you'll have read that's mildly amusing.**

**And thanks to J a n i m e . n e t for the information on the decks of both characters. I'm sorry for using your sources to attempt to write a duel I probably should have never started.**

**Current Votes for Ryo's House -**

Gryffindor - 1

Ravenclaw -1

Slytherin - 3

Hufflepuff - None

Wherever Seto is - 2

_Disclaimer _**- I'll let you consider this.**

_Warnings_** - Swearing, extreme amounts of OOCness, and the mere fact I waited so long to even write this chapter.**

* * *

**Bakura - 6750, Kaiba - 5550**

Things in the duel had steadily progressed, leaving Hermione's knowledge of the game in the dust. Bakura and Seto had both chosen to throw out cards that, out of the three that knew the game, had never even seen before - a fact that irked Seto immensely. He was /supposed/ to know what every card thrown out at him did.

"Now, Kaiba, face this - I sacrifice one Necro Mane Kin (500/500) to bring out this - Come forth, Ghost Duke (2000/1700)!"

On Bakura's side of the field, one of the three, white-washed manikins that looked more like plastered dinosaurs randomly stuck together into a shape only vaguely resembling a person (Whoever had combined them, apparently, had no clue about the human anatomy) disappeared, replaced by a fiercer looking creature. A large, blue-skinned, floating creature was placed in the center of Bakura's monsters. Dressed in something out of Pirates of the Caribbean, there was no reason to question its name.

"And, guess what - Ghost Duke is virtually indestructible! Attack him, and, oh yes, you'll get your life points! But he cannot be destroyed in battle, so he'll just come back to haunt you! So, Ghost Duke, obliterate Kaiba's Different Dimension Dragon (1200/1500)!"

**Kaiba - 4750**

"You'll regret doing such a thing, Bakura!"

Now Kaiba drew his next card, and a grin spread across his face. "You seem to be over-looking one thing, Bakura! I may not be able to destroy your monster in battle, but I can very easily get rid you anyways!"

"What are you babbling about, Kaiba? If you really want to make a point, go ahead and do... whatever it is you're going to do."

"All right! I play the magic card Advent of a White Dragon in order to summon Paladin of White Dragon (1900/1200)! And then, I use his effect to send him to the graveyard a a tribute to summon my Blue Eyes White Dragon (3000/2500)! And, guess this - I play Soul Exchange in order to sacrifice one of /your/ Necro Mane Kins and your Ghost Duke to summon yet another Blue Eyes!"

In the short time that the large, white dragon and his master had appeared, they were gone, quickly replaced by two roaring white dragons, leaving Bakura to watch unhappily as his beloved Ghost Duke and Necro Mane Kin shattered into a million, holographic card pieces.

"And now, I'll use one of my Blue Eyes to destroy your remaining Necro Mane Kin! Next turn, Bakura, you're doomed!"

"Damn it, Kaiba! What's with you and destroying my zombies! Did you never get a good dose of mutilation movies as a child!"

"...Bakura, how on Earth is that relevant?"

* * *

"Now, I summon this - Necro Soldier (0/0) in defense mode, and play one card face-down!"

Seto gave an undignified blink at the monster that appeared on the field. All it appeared to be was a mere, toy-version of one of those sentries you would come across in London, save for the blue skin. "You're really giving up, aren't you, Bakura?"

"You just try and test it, and then we'll see!" The white-haired thief seemed oddly self-assured about the entire matter, but Seto figured it was probably a lapse of sanity. He seemed to have those quite a bit, so it wasn't like it was any of his concern.

"All right! Blue Eyes, my one true servant - destroy Bakura's Necro Soldier!"

The Blue Eyes White Dragon did as told, sending a large, electric blue blast that would have sent any other monster to it's doom. However, a ghostly form of the long-gone Ghost Duke suddenly appeared, along with a large, hot pink wall of electroplasm. The entire attack was effectively avoided.

"What the hell was that? Bakura, are you starting to use some female's cards?"

"I am not, you pompous, ego-inflated moron! That was a Ghost Wall!" He stomped his foot against the ground, obviously a bit more than put off and looking as if he was a child on the verge of a temper tantrum. "And, if you haven't noticed, you have two targets, now! I get another Necro Soldier for each of _your_ Stand-by phases!"

"Hmph. Oh well. I'll just obliterate you next turn. Now, draw and starting playing Makazi's cards."

"Just because it happens to be pink does not mean that I've gone and stolen that cheerleader's - "

"Don't care."

"Why you...!" He huffed, and whipped out a new card. "Now, to add onto my combo - I play Necro Wall (0/0) in defense mode! For every undead monster I have, I get one of these! And that means, you've got four creatures to deal with, adding onto five, now that I finish my turn!"

Large, rectangular slabs of stone appeared before the two Necro Soldiers. Just as Bakura announced the finishing of his turn, another Necro Soldier (with no Wall before it) appeared.

"Well, I was expecting a hell of a lot worse from you - I raise you from idiot to moron." **(1)**

"Kaiba...! That only works on Jonouchi! I won't get as riled up as that annoying little dog!"

"Oh, stop wetting your pants and get ready loose your pathetic Necro Wall."

"...Kaiba, you can't _destroy _Necro Wall. That's the entire point."

"Shit."

* * *

Hermione, who was currently wondering how to congratulate Kaiba on some turn-around-win (She hadn't yet devised a way that this entire duel wouldn't end in a tie or Bakura's success, but she was sure the teenaged CEO she was utterly fascinated by would come up with one), was extremely uninterested in attempting to explain any more of the game to either Harry or Ron. Ron, however, was less than surprised, and Harry was finding himself mildly bored.

Harry really didn't know what the heck was going on. And, well, things get boring if they keep doing moves that make no sense.

Ron suddenly nudged the Boy Who Lived, and pulled him away from Hermione before he could argue. Harry gave his a companion an odd look when the redhead said nothing about whatever he needed, so he finally decided to press further.

"Ron, what is it?"

"Quiet. Now listen here - can you hear what I hear? Outside?"

Harry blinked, but conceded. He might as well humor his friend, since he was /obviously/ going insane with the lack of anything vaguely interesting to do and the lack of sleep they had, due to this entire duel (Harry was assuming it was somewhere near midnight by now, and they had had a busy day, escaping Seto's fan-witches). Straining to avoid Bakura's current bantering about his ultimate defense against Seto's over-powered Dragons, he could have sworn he hear... Magic?

"C'mon, Ron - we're going to go see about this," Harry beckoned, grabbing onto his faithful sidekick and trotting out through the door, unnoticed.

* * *

"Na na na na na naaa! You can't beat me!" sang Bakura in a singsong like voice, leaving Seto with the nearly uncontrollable urge to hit his opponent with a Duel Disk, or pull another one of his Card Khung-Fu moves. **(2) **With a huff, he settled for yelling ungraciously at him.

"Shut up, you kleptomanic moron! You're just being utterly unoriginal and copying Motoh's moves now, aren't you!"

"C'mon Mister Kaiba, you can win!"

"Shut up!" was the only response Hermione got, shouted at the same time by both males.

"Now, you're going to see why Motoh's the only person to have beaten me, and you're going to bow at my feet like the looser you really are!"

"...Do you know how old that line gets after a while?"

"Oh, just put a sock in it!"

Seto pulled his next card from his deck, and Bakura groaned at the look at his face. He was going to start ranting about how completely awesome and all-powerful his deck was again, wasn't he? "See - I TOLD you that you could never manage to defeat me! Now, I play this - Dark Hole! All of our monsters are destroyed, and sent to the graveyard!"

Blank stare.

"Since when have you had that card?"

"Since... ever?"

"Oh. Of course. Are you done?"

"Yeah. Pretty much I am, actually."

"Hey, you three!"

Six eyes turned towards the door to stare blankly upon the pair standing at the door. There stood one Harry Potter and one Ron Weasley. Ron was leaning onto his Boy-Who-Lived companion, apparently refusing to stand on his left leg (This was an awkward sight, none the less, and Bakura was wondering if the pair might have gotten into his things and found his Gravitation manga).

"There's some nasty Death Eaters out there, and it looks like you two are playing games in _their _hideout!"

* * *

_(1) _**- Refering to the the fifth graphic novel of Duelist Kingdom. Prior to Yuugi versus Kaiba, when Kaiba sees that Jonouchi has gotten ten star chips, he tells Jonouchi that he raises him from 'Loser to Deadbeat'.**

_(2) _**- The idea of 'Card Khung-Fu' actually belongs to **_bukora's girl. _**She and I, ahem, were talking about how Kaiba-sama often hit people with his cards, which resulted in the spontaneous loss of movement, weapons, or blood. And, well... She dubbed it Card Khung-Fu.**

_Ryou-Fan _**- Why thankyou :D And congradulations for being the only person that seems to think Bakura-kun should be in Gryffindor O.o And don't worry about it, m'dear - English /is/ my native language, and I mutilate it x.X**

_SuzukaKinomoto _**- It's raining Bakura plushies! .:goes all starry-eyed:. I luff yoooou! xDD And, thankyou very much. The Shiz is going to have a very nice-sized ego by the time she leaves for Florida. :3**

_kenmeishouri_** - Dude. I've just grown one inch, and, apparently, I'm 4'11. I highly doubt you're shorter than me O.o But thanks for trying to boost my ego. Hehe.**

_Jasmine Reinier _**- Your reviews kick ass, my very-often reviewer like friend :) You people keep reviewing and I'll keep writing, that's for sure (My ego is what powers the things I write, you see. Bigger ego better chapter).**

_Yami Pandora _**- O.O .:hides:. O-okay.**

_Kurayami-no-Izou _**- Oh, well happy graduation! .:throws around party balloons and such things:. I've got.. uh... Five more years before I graduate high school O.o**

_Nightbringer - _**Muahaha! Well, here you go!**

_Kitroku _**- I like their conversations, too xDD**


	8. Damn Odd Doorknobs

_The Shiz _**- Maaaaaajorly sorry. I didn't mean to take so long .. Forgive me, please?**

**Also, I have a question - if I wrote a Tales of SymphoniaxYuugiou crossover, might anyone be interested in it? Please just inset this information in your reviews, luffers: 3**

**Current Votes for Ryo's House -**

**Gryffindor - **2

**Ravenclaw -**1

**Slytherin - **5

**Hufflepuff - **None

**Wherever Seto is - **2

_Disclaimer _**- Belongs to me noooooot.**

_Warnings _**- Blah. Go read the warnings for chapter seven.**

* * *

Damn. Irony /sucked./ 

"What do you MEAN we're in a Death Eaters hideout?" Bakura looked annoyed. "Like Malik'll care."

"Dunce. Malik called them the /Ghouls./"

"Damn, really? That sure explains a lot." A moment of silence met Bakura's inquiring.

With Harry and Ron standing at the fore-front of the room and the other three set off to the side in silence, it was obvious indeed that they had chosen a very bad place in order to play their little card games. Hushed voices outside in the dark streets of Diagon Alley could be heard talking animatedly about this and that, most of it revolving around a topic that kept getting danced about and refusing to reveal any details (Harry could just feel the adventure that was soon to occur coming on). Eventually, Seto gave up with any elaboration about to come to him from the sky, and addressed a one Hermione Granger.

"You, girl; what're these 'Death Eaters?'" he demanded rudely. He was suddenly met with the concern the girl was going to faint from flattery. Good God, must he have this type of effect on everyone? Glowering downwards at the shorter Fifth Year student, he tapped a foot impatiently as the voices seemed to get louder.

He recieved no explanation, as Ryo chose now to take reign over his body.

"Huh... what did I miss?" Blinking awkwardly, he cocked his head vaguely in the direction of Harry and Ron. "What's wrong with him?" And then he chose to break out into a string of Japanese swear words at someone evidentially not there. As much as Harry would have liked to get an explanation for the mild-mannered boy's sudden need to swear at an apparently alternate personality (That would explain the attitude throughout the duel), he honestly believed that their lives were a bit more important than their little mystery.

"Guys, c'mon! We saw a door around the back here from outside - Hermione, do a spell and we'll get out of here," Harry order in his typical take-charge-and-save-the-day manner-of-speaking, finally managing to get Hermione out of whatever reverie the CEO choosing to speak to her might have possibly spawned. She swiftly nodded and fumbled around for her wand, managing to fling it out with a sort of lopsided-look of pride across her face (Which turned to disappointment, as Seto was more interested in examining the wall for his supposed door - there appeared to be absolutely nothing there), and trotted over to the indicated location in the room.

Mumbling a few words beneath her breath, a nod bobbed her head up and down as her spell apparently worked as intended. A small, brass doorknob had erupted from the side of the wall, though there was no other indication of a door sitting right there - and, with a frown still over his features, Seto inspected the doorknob suspiciously.

"Nothing comes out of the wall," he stated decidedly, "Unless Motoh's suddenly got that Rod-thing Malik has up his ass and is doing some saving-the-world-mojo." **(1)**

"Oh, really?" Ryo looked more curious than cyncical, glancing over at the doorknob, anger at the invisible person evidentially forgotten. "Touch it, Kaiba-sama, please? I want to see it was it doooooes."

"No," he snapped. "/You/ touch it. Unless someone else opens that door, I'm not going through until a proper examination has taken place. For all I know, it could electracute me. Or pull a Noa."

"Oh, shut up!" Harry, finally sick of the bantering going on, dragged Ron behind him as he stomped off past Hermione in order to get their business taken care. He gripped his fingers around the doorknob, turned and pushed it open. Cracks in the wall became noticable, suddenly, as the door was revealed suddenly - and, with Ron and Harry in the lead, Hermione scuttled off after the pair with Ryo close in tow. Seto, looking annoyed, mumbled something about fruity monkeys and finally walked in close behind.

The front door smashed open at the very front as the door disappeared back into the wall, doorknob gone.

* * *

"I thought you boys were going to be dead! Not that I blame you, Seto dear - nor you, Bakura - but going out in the middle of the night like that just isn't safe!"

Ron and Harry had long tuned out the insistent motherings of Molly Weasley, who looked absolutely flabbergasted at the mere thought of her son and his friends being wandering around and about Diagon Alley, and with some sort of limp, even! She finally huffed as she realized that her crooning was getting her no farther than Hermione's embaressment and Ryo's attempts at being sympathetic for the older lady.

"It's really not their fault - we should have known not to go out, and we kinda got them a bit over-excited with the idea of some new muggle technology... any other wizard without as much sense as you, Mrs. Weasley, probably would have done the same thing." Flattered out of her fustration, Mrs. Weasley gave Ryo a soft pat on the head and scampered off to inform her husband that the children were in one piece (Despite some questionable goings-on).

Standing around Harry's room at the Leaky Cauldron, the odd little collection of characters glanced questioningly at one another. Finally, Seto - who had been inspecting a talking mirror only moments ago, trying to find the speakers - chose to make a statement. He was more interested in tonight events than the fact that Ryo had just sucked up terribly towards an older, slightly round woman whose life meant very little to him.

"So, what exactly are these 'Death Eaters?'" he inquired, frowing. "Obviously, they aren't the most popular denizens of your world."

"Death Eaters," Hermione started to explain, frowning as she searched for a proper definition, "Are ghastly creatures who work for You-Know-Who. They're mostly made up of purebloods, and they attack other people - mainly muggle-borns, and they want to conquer the world for You-Know-Who. They were supposed to have disappeared fifteen years ago, but since we started attending Hogwarts, they've been causing a lot of... problems," she stated delicately, downplaying the 'problems' comment.

Ron gave her a questioning look at the lack of depth, but Harry stepped in before the red-head could open his mouth. "They've been getting a lot bolder. Voldermort's come back."

"Voldermort?" repeated Ryo, furrowing his brow.

"You-Know-Who, you dunce," stated Seto irritably, and he shrugged nonchalantly. "All right. So we saw something we weren't supposed to. Big deal. Like they'll be all that interested in a bunch of teenagers that didn't appear as if they were actually there." Content with his own explanation of the situation, no one bothered to question him (Hermione would have if she wasn't too busy eye-raping him).

"Say, Ron," Ryo spoke up, changing the topic of conversation, "How did you hurt yourself outside, anyways?"

"Er, well, I sorta..."

* * *

_FLASHBAAAAAAAAACK._

"C'mon, let's hurry. I want to see what out's here..."

Scurrying together out of the small, relatively empty building was Harry and Ron. Before they could inspect whatever the source of noise was, Ron ran smack into the alley wall they had hidden in in order to get a better view. The wall also happened to possess a trash can. Which loathed poor Ron's leg.

"Dammit, Ron, what have I told you about 'looking before you leap'?"

_END FLASHBAAAAAAAAAACK._

* * *

Hermione blinked stupidly at the boys she called her best friends.

"You're kidding me."

"I always knew there was something wrong with you two," Seto sniffed in a dignified fashion. Harry just smacked himself in the face with the palm of his hand. This was going to defnitely be a very interesting year at Hogwarts, and he doubted it just was going to be because Ron's brain didn't seem to be functioning correctly as of late.

Foreigners always seemed to make things turn out so much differently. Now, that called for a new type of plan to survive.

Plan One - Hide all of the magazines in his trunk that glorified Kaiba Seto.  
Plan Two - Hide all of Hermione's magazines in his trunk that glorified Kaiba Seto.  
Plan Three - Stop caring about the fact Ryo was really weird.

* * *

_(1) _**Malik still has the Rod. I have no explanation, and it's likely Malik won't even show /up/ in this xD But, Hell, who knows, with the way my brain works.**

_yamisgirl13_** - Oh, Bakura sure will give them some Hell. Haha, and agreed. He sure does deserve some more attention.**

_kenmeishouri _**- .:snicker:. Okay, I won't worry any more xD And, well, Kaiba isn't Kaiba without making everyone feel like crap, or at least trying.**

_Kurayami-no-Izou _**- Ah, yes, I most definitely have read it. It was brilliant, I must say. I'll probably need to put 'Half-Blood spoilers' in the warnings if things go the way I plan to have them go... Muahaha...**

_Jasmine Reinier _**- .:snickerdoodle:. Hermione gets more attention this chapter xD Yaaaay. And how many times have you voted, anyways, my lufferly? xDD**

_Lily of the Shadow _**- I've gotten my card situation taken care of, but thank you. : ) I'll let you know if I need anymore help.**

_HellFireChan _**- Hot damn, it is Makazi. I've been calling her by that last name for the longest time. Thanks for the correction!**

_cantdueldontaskme_** - Ah, really? I'm not a massive fan of duels, myself, but it was just so /tempting/ to write...!**


End file.
